A Time of Transition

Last night I was leading a mindfulness session on Zoom and we did the bus driver exercise. This is an exercise from Acceptance and Commitment (ACT) therapy that has been adapted into a creative reflection practice using writing and drawing. One of the great things about teaching mindfulness is that I get to do this exercise repeatedly over the years. 

We draw an empty bus and imagine we are driving it in the direction of mindfulness (or meditation, wisdom, etc). Then once we are settled into mindful practice we reflect on what some of the obstacles are to our mindfulness journey and write or draw these on the bus as unruly passengers trying to get us to stop or drive in a different direction. Then we reflect on our innate skills and the things that inspire and support our mindfulness practice and write or draw these on the bus as helpful passengers. 

I guide this practice out of my black book of class plans which I have had for many years and at times I use this book to draw my bus in. I did the exercise as I guided it and drew my obstacles and enablers onto my bus. At the end of the exercise I was struck by how different my current bus was from the one I had drawn several years ago. 

A few things were the same, such as the four immeasurable qualities of kindness, compassion, joy and equanimity, which I have cultivated over the years and which massively support me in my practice and my life. My daughter was on both of the buses, but that was about it. 

The doubt in my practice, the tiredness, the sense of not being good enough and of not wanting to face the changes that might happen if I continued to practice were the obstacles in my old bus, but were absent in my new bus. 

There were some daily practical obstacles in my new bus, including a habit of too much distraction on the TV and my phone, as well as a habit of  rushing through work and study and feeling time bound.

There was also a very old habit of resentment and blaming which leads to me moaning about the people I resent and blame. Thankfully, I am now fed up with this habit and it is wearing itself out due to the helpful passengers of a strong intention to forgive, the wisdom of no blame and not wanting to waste any more time or energy talking negatively. 

Resentment and blame are like throwing a hot coal at someone. The coal might hit them, but I always get burned. Resentment and blame do me and my mind no good at all. 

The wisdom of no blame is the recognition that we humans are habitual creatures, driven by habits caused by our conditioning and life experiences. I can only do what I can do, based on 

my conditioning and life experience, as others can only do that they can do, based on their conditioning and life experience. So no point in blaming ourselves or others for the conditioning and experiences we did not choose. We are all just doing our best in difficult circumstances. 

The spiritual supports and teachers have also changed. For many years they were my Buddhist teachers and practices. Now they are non-dual influences, like teacher Rupert Spira, my daily ‘Pray as you go’ reflection and my own experience in meditation. Also, friends and family are now playing a bigger role in supporting my meditation practice. 

With so many areas of transition in my life, changing spiritual direction, changing jobs, starting a new company, my mentors and supervisors have been of invaluable support. 

I speak to my mindfulness supervisor, who is a Buddhist, for an hour once a month and have done so now for over a decade. This has been a wonderful opportunity for me to talk about my teaching and practice and to process the big transitions that are happening. He used to be involved in running a large mindfulness organisation, so is familiar with the territory I have been treading and has supported me through the ups and downs. 

I also speak to my chaplaincy supervisor, who is Christian, for an hour once a month and have done so now for a couple of years. This enables me to talk about my chaplaincy practice in the NHS and to process the changes that have been happening in my spirituality. Recently, he suggested trying the Quakers and I went and sat with my local group last week and it was wonderful. Well worth exploring as a new spiritual home, in addition to Rupert Spira’s non-dual community. 

I have experience in supervising mindfulness students as part of my work on the University of West of Scotland MSc in Mindfulness and Compassion and have taught hundreds of people to teach mindfulness over the last fifteen years. I also have experience of mentoring people on their meditation pathway as part of my work on the University of Aberdeen MSc in Studies in Mindfulness. 

I love this work and find that a conversation about mindfulness teaching or meditation practice can often reveal and unblock challenging habits fairly quickly. This leads mindfulness teachers and meditators to develop more confidence, ease and enjoyment of their teaching and/or meditation practice. 

Our meditation practice can get into a rut, or we may need some more accountability to motivate us to practice regularly. 

So, if you are undergoing a transition (or would like to!), then I offer a mentoring and supervision service, which you can learn more about here. Drop me an email to info@beachcombermeditation.com and we can meet up for a free initial chat to see what might be possible.